i hate pedia. i don’t really like kids, much less crying sick kids.

last year i hated my ward rotation. i wanted to get out as soon as i got in. in retrospect i had a really easynload back then. i only had 5 patients the entire 2 weeks. i did not have any patient turnover.

this year is an entirely different story. i was lucky to have a co-intern in our service so i had supposedly 8 patients max. but then my pgi disappeared for 3 days and i had 14 patients all to myself, 7 of which were endorsable, 3 of them were really toxic. even though ward 11 was relatively benign than ward 9, we thad a really fast patient turnover. most of us had to go onduty every other day with only 2 interns per duty. and during our last few days in the ward about one third of the ward were mannitol requiring so we had to push a lot of mannitol. as in a lot.

but somehow this year was way more pleasant than the other one. i had more happy moments. i got to joke around with some of my patients. i got to send home a couple of initially toxic cardio patients. i was friends with all of my patients’ parents. they actually cared when i looked tired. i got to answer the consultant’s questions. i am actually better at be/iv. i thought those months of clerkship really helped me be a better student, a better person.

because i was in a better disposition this time, i had the chance to do some thinking. one night when i was monitoring my patient, her father asked me. “doktora so next year katulad ka na rin nung mga nagsisigawan at nagcecelebraate dito nung isang araw? graduate ka na rin?”

“sana po. hehe”

“alam mo ba, ang dami nang lumipas samin. si dr.(service senior), noon first year pa lang nung una kaming na-admit. si dr. (neuro fellow) residente pa lang nun. si dr. (ric) clerk pa lang yata. tapos ikaw sa susunod doktor ka na.”

this almost brought me to tears. this made me realize the amount of dedication parents have on their children. we go about our medical education and our lives leaving behind our patients. for most of us students our responsibilities end when we shift out or when the patient transfers service. in the case of my patient, her parents watched a lot of students become the doctors that they are now. they watched a lot of doctors move on to higher levels in their training while they remain the parents of their sick child. but i did not see an ounce of regret or anger in his eyes. maybe he is just happy that he is still there fighting, struggling with his child.

naisip ko… kapag magulang ka, walang post duty, walang shifting out.

in pedia perhaps the most amazing thing one can witness is the parents’ love for their children. many times we see parents still fight even though we all know there is no future, no hope. sometimes i ask myself why do they drain their resources even thoughnthey are told that there’s no point? aren’t they concerned about their own future? i guess it’s because no parent thinks about a future without their kid. to them, no matter how sick the child is, it’s simply unthinkable.

and while seeing these people give their all to your patients, it’s even more wonderful to think that back home, you have your own parents who are more than willing to do the same things for you :)